First Team League match Versus Reigate and Priory
Played at home
Warm
Hard Pitch
Lost Toss and batted first
Won by one run



The league crew descended upon Taughton Avenue to take up the second act of the new Muppet outdoor stage production. Many boys arrived with built up anger due to the Sharks dismal display. Hefner Hughes was full of beans as he had been banned from all pubs in his area and for once was actually not hung over. The lads wondered out to the pitch and were pleasantly surprised to find a nice hard surface. In fact the surface was so hard that a jack hammer was called for in an attempt to place the stumps. After 3 hours of hammering the stumps were finally in place. The boys did notice that the average age of the oppo was about 12 and that the one lad did resemble Ryan Sidebottoms brother Ginger Sidebottom. Our skip arrived after a three hour journey from his holiday home at butlins in time to do the toss. We apparently lost and were sent in to bat by the oppo. At last a chance for our batting stars to shine or so we thought. The skip and his brother swung to the centre on their monkey swings to get proceedings under way.

Sidebottom junior began with many no balls and then proceeded to bowl wide outside off which lead to few scoring opportunities for the boys. The other left arm opener proved to be a different proposition. The youngster bowling a good length and line as well as moving the ball into both Cummings brothers. The boys pushed things along at an ok rate with Steve playing the anchor role and Roy showing why he doe not have the temperament to be an opening batsman. Having said that Roy was playing beautifully with some great shots, however his willingness to try and pull balls 3 miles outside off stump making the boys a bit nervous. The boys pushed the score to 40 odd before Steve fell to a great delivery. The young leftie straightening the only ball of the day and Steve trying to drive with the swing that was not present. Caught behind. This was to start a long procession of catches presented to the oppo. Tiaan strode in and looked very solid. The oppo brought in a tall bowler who bowled short. Roy gave him the patented Cummings brother’s treatment of short bowling by pulling him repeatedly. However Roy attempted to pull one that was in line with third slip and was caught. This brought Hefner Hughes to the crease with the score on 50 odd for 2 after 14 odd over’s. Hef showed his intention by trying to smash the young leftie over cover. Hef soon fell trying to glance the ball over slip (he claims glance but it looked suspiciously like a large edge) the slip took and amazing two finger catch above his head and Hef was unlucky to be caught by a fantastic bit of fielding. Hef trundled back muttering to himself that he will never be sober on the morning of a cricket game again. Jason H strode in. jay has been under pressure from the Skip. Roys motivational style being to remind people of their recent failures. Jason started to play some amazing shots. This included pounding the one bowler for three success fours. However the fourth ball bringing his demise. He strode back after a quick fire 30 odd. In strode Corrie. Tiaan was next to go. Frustrated by some tight bowling he attempted a big shot and was caught in the deep for 11. The boys were now in trouble with the score on 100 odd for 6. During proceedings the batsman formerly known as a bowler Harper was preparing himself for the hundred he was about to score. He strode out to bolster his batting average. Unfortunately for Craig a hundred involves a 1 and a 0 before the score that he managed to get. Craig strolling back without bothering the scorers save for drawing little duck images next to his name. NK strode in and watched Corrie depart. Corrie caught in two minds and ended up playing the ball onto his stumps. The boys in real trouble now at 110 for 8. Ryan strode out to the middle and Nk and he were able to build a partnership worth around 30 runs before NK was caught. Andrew “ Guns a blazing” Jarrett strode out with strict instructions to play defensively. AJ’s first ball resulting in the ultra defensive shot known as the slog sweep for 4. Ryan was out defensively trying to play the ball over the midwicket boundary and this brought Tush “ Foo Foo Boycott” Wahwha to the crease. Tush pleading with AJ to be calm and play out the remaining 15 overs. AJ deciding stuff this for a laugh after watching Tush edge the ball in his attempt to play defensively. AJ playing a block shot to the boundary followed by a backward defensive shot with a horizontal bat through point for another four. The next ball saw AJ attempt to leave the ball with the middle of his bat resulting in him being caught at deepish midwicket. Quite clearly the defensive instructions from the skip were not the correct ones. Anyway the appalling batting display resulted in the boys being all out for 158 from 33 overs. Eight of the boys being caught. The oppo fielded well but were only to grateful for the bounty of catches that we produced. After Tea the boys readied themselves for the fight.

Andrew “Rizzo”Jarrett and Ryan “Bouncers are us” Lang opening the bowling. AJ and Ryan settled on a good line and length and restricted the flow of runs. AJ making the breakthrough trapping the opener leg before. The oppo number three came to the crease and was greeted with a short one. The pitch still responsive with the old ball. Ryan was bowling a good line and coming close. AJ picked up the number three with Steve taking the catch and short cover. The boys were geed up at this point with the oppo 30 odd for 2 from 10. AJ then removed the number 4 with corrie taking the catch behind. The Morden boy’s tails were now up as we sensed we had a real chance. AJ finished his spell or to be accurate his spell finished him and he had to be wheeled off in a wheel barrow to be shot on the boundary. Ryan continued and was unlucky not grab a stick. “Five Finga” Wadwha replacing AJ. Tush immediately started on a good line and length and bowled very well for 10 overs. Tush picking up the stick of the other opener with a beautiful delivery. Now it must be noted that The Muppet Fielding spectacular was in full force again this week. This nearly proved to be our downfall with some key catches dropped and some terrible fielding. Bulleted instances will follow later. NK replaced Ryan and struggled at first with the batsmen scoring from him. This caused some tension as the oppo were creeping closer to the total and the pressure was being alleviated. NK picked up a valuable wicket with Jason H taking his first catch of the season. Jason obviously nervous about the size of the new funnel pipe waiting on the sidelines for those who err. Steve Cummings replacing the regular funnel pipe with a bit of the mains gas pipe he dug up from the Worcester park main street. In fact many of the boys were eyeing the funnel with nervousness. Craig “Thanks for coming “ Harper was well past the point of no return at this stage however and continued to rack up the fines faster than Ben Johnson on steroids. The match was progressing with pressure on both sides. NK picked up another key stick before being replaced by Tiaan. Tiaan bowling well with batsman having no clue about the googlies.

Anyway the story after some muppetry in the field was this. The oppo needed 20 from 5 overs. Up Stepped Jason “ Cool as Ice” Howarth and Roy “ I trust in my abilities” Cummings to bowl the last few overs. Jason and Roy bowling a tight line and both picking up a wicket. The fielding was not helping the bowling but the boys managed to pus through. Net result was that the oppo needed 7 from the last over. A punch up was imminent after a heated argument on field placings and the tension increased with some poor fielding allowing a boundary on the first ball. 3 runs needed from 5 balls. Roy then bowled the next 4 balls perfectly. The oppo took a scrambled single from the second to last ball resulting in them needing 2 to tie from 1 ball. Tush nearly got a beating when repeatdely asking how many runs they needed despite the scoreboard displaying the scores. Roy ran in and the bat wandered down the pitch but only managed to swing 1 to Ryan at midd on. Ryan rolled the ball in to restrict the oppo to 1 run. The boys had fought hard to restrict the oppo to 157 from 45 overs which resulted in a one run victory.

The funnel tally was to numerous to mention and we ran out of beers after the first round. This was not aided by Tush wasting beer by choking on the first part of his funnel and then throwing the rest up. Disgarcefull.

Fielding moments of note.

· Hefners amazing demonstration of lack of speed and mobility with the agility of a dead cat. Hef’s extra special miss timed dive followed by chase twirl and throw to some where past midd off. His countrymen were obviously watching as was proven by the terrible kiwi fielding display on day four of the test match.
· Craig “Thanks for coming “ Harper topping his amazing batting display with the extra special ability of actually not stopping a single ball all day. It was hard decision in choosing his most special moment as the dive over the ball followed by the weakest throw ever was just pipped by a fine all round display. This display involved day dreaming as the ball was hit in the air towards him. Craig awoke from the slumber, took 5 steps back then charged forward only to belly flop over the ball and watch it sail to the boundary. An extra special mention must be made of his one stop at midd on which resulted in an easy single for the bastmen. Craig clearly excited by his first stop of the day let the adrenalin get to him and decided to let loose a throw at the stumps which resulted in a hit but an also a deflection for extra runs.
· Nks drop at square leg and attempt to kick the ball on the boundary.
· Tushs bollywood dance resulting in a drop at square leg.

Anyway we won thanks to a great team spirit and determination.

Man of the match gos to the skip for his batting and good bowling at the end.

Scorecard here

Form data

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-- Form: 'Match_Report_Template'
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1. Opposition Name:
'West Byfleet'
2. Match Played at:
'Raynes Park'
3. Match Played home or away:
'Home'
4. Date of match:
'05/24/2008'
5. Weather:
'Hot, sunny and blue sky'
6. Toss won by:
'MCCC won toss and batted'
7. Pitch Condition:
'Damp but firm'
8. Match Format:
'Timed Game'
9. MCCC Total:
'150'
10. MCCC Batting Order:
'1. Pal Chakravorty - 3
2. Matt Oliver - 10
3. Nadeeka - 25
4. Mark Bartram - 21
5. Azam Malik - 30
6. Dan Ulzofher - 5
7. Steve O'Neill - 7
8. Imran Ahmad - 1
9. Nabhan - 7 (n.o.)
10. Steve Vickery - 5 (n.o.)
11. Graham Pinkney dnb'
11. Notable batting performances:
'After winning the toss, we decided to bat and off set Pal & Matt to the crease... who's got the match ball?! 10 mins wasted! ok lts play.... 15 mins later, why are we playing on a junior wicket?! another 10 mins wasted!! so with less than two hours remaining and only about 2 runs scored off the bat we could settle down and play with some rythem! Early stages looked difficult, with both openers struggling to get the ball away.. Extras were beginning to shine !!!
Pal was bowled for 3, which brought the impressive Nadeeka to the crease, a quick fire 25 before a some what bad run out decision (Mr O'Neill, hmmm). Ok Marky B was up next and he soon found the boundary (leg side of course) with a massive 6. Matt still finding runs hard to find (spent more effort taking his gloves off and on) Matt was eventually dismissed for 10. So we were 103 - 3 after about 20 overs. Azam joined Mark at the crease and the two really opened up before Azam fell for 30 hitting many excellent boundaries including one six and Mark for 21.
Time was now fast approaching the 2 1/2 hour stage so the remaining batsman were hitting out at every opportunity, hence their low scores (not their fault, had to try and push the score along!)
We only managed to bat for about 33 overs in our 2 1/2 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! '
12. Oppostion Total:
'151.'
13. Notable Bowling performances:
'Nadeeka 8 overs, 2 - 22
Azam 3 overs, 0 - 27
Dan 4 overs, 0 - 32
Graham.P 3 overs, 0 - 35
Pal 3 overs, 0 - 24

The bowlers tried their best, but today was a struggle. Nadeeka was the pick of the bunch. He was finding real pace and took the only wickets to fall. Pal was accurate but couldn't quite find a breakthrough.
The fielding left a lot to be admired!

School report would read - Must try harder.

'
14. Match Result:
'West Byfleet won by 8 wickets.'
15. Champagne moment:
'Absolutely NONE! or Extras scoring 36.'
16. MCCC Man of the Match:
'Nadeeka, Two wickets & 25 runs.'
17. Additional Comments about match:
'Tea was first class, once again.

Must congratulate West Byfleet for thier excellent batting performance.

The firsts won a thrilling encounter on pitch one. Thanks to them we managed to stay awake and had some entertainment!!

'

1st Team league Games Versus Selsdon A
Played Away
Weather- Wet and Windy
Pitch- Damp but hard underneath
Result- Morden Won by 10 wickets


The 1st team crew descended upon Selsdon to carry on the league effort. The game was in doubt due to the GPS units in overdrive and most of the crew lost due to Craig “Smokey the Bandit” Harpers Convey lead driving style of accelerating through orange lights off into the horizon. However everyone arrived and we swam out to the middle to examine the damp pitch. Apparently the opposition were determined to play as was noted by the one player paddling a small boat around the outfield to place the boundary markers. Luckily Craig always carries his Speedo so despite the bitching we were ready to take to the field and bowl. The Skipper forgot what game we were playing and decided to order us to play touch rugby to warm up. This resulted in exhaustion and Steve “shot by a sniper” Cummings to take a face plant and add to his missus washing load. After being exhausted from the run around those wise ones amongst us made note of how many times we dropped a large oval ball. This was an ominous indicator for what can only be described as the Muppet show which was to follow in the field. Anyway Kermit led us onto the field where we all stood freezing, especially Jason “Nipples like Glass” Howarth who decided that jerseys were for wussies and stood all day in our brand new shirts which are designed to allow air in to cool. As the boys donned snorkels and threw anchor at their allocated fielding position Andrew “Has not changed his spikes since 1993” Jarrett ice skated to the popping crease to get proceedings under way. The first ball resulted in looks of astonishment as the damp pitch showed its true nature of being a rock hard gem underneath. The ball flying through with good bounce. The third ball resulted in a massive appeal for lbw but no luck. It was at this time that big bird and the Muppets began the show. AJ inducing a big edge to gully which Jason “I am so cold I cant move” Howarth duly dropped. Ryan charged in and peppered the batsmen on the responsive pitch. Matt Reid doing a Stirling job of drying the ball after every delivery. AJ scrapped off a Serengeti worth of grass from his boots and began the third over. The bat edging over the slips much to his joy. Next ball resulted in an edge that went straight to Hefner Hughes at second slip. Hefner has obviously been taking John Travolta dance lessons as he pulled a stunning Staying alive dance pose as he desperately tried to get out of the way of the rocket honing in at him. He threw one hand up and the other hand down in the classic dance pose as the ball hit his hand. Catch 2 down much to AJ’s joy. AJ then produced another edge to a packed slip cordon which resulted in Jason downing another one. AJ trundled off to fine leg muttering obscenities. Ryan produced the break through with Kermit aka Roy showing big bird and the cookie monster how to catch. This brought the oppos big hitting number three to the pond. Roy was kind enough to actually hold onto the next edge which AJ managed to get and the oppo were 2 down. AJ followed this up with another induced edge which just fell short of the diving “Smokey the Bandit” Harper. The oppo number three started with a single followed by a huge six. He began to unload with some big straight sixes. AJ toiled away and managed to induce an inside edge onto the stumps. Oppo were now 50 odd for 3 from 14 overs. Matt Reid took over from Ryan and was began to apply pressure with some excellent bowling and was denied the second plum lbw of the day. Craig “Princess Harper joined the fray and the oppo number three introduced the ball to the bushes. Craig suddenly developing a damaged shoulder after this shot. Matt induced an edge but the diving Corrie couldn’t hang on behind the stumps. Craig was replaced by NK who struggled to hold on to the ball but still managed the key wicket of the dangerous number 3 and was replaced by debutant Tian who began to bowl well. Matt bowled the number 5 and 6 batsmen which left the oppo 120 odd for 6 after 30 odd. No drinks break left the boys sucking the moisture form the grass. The boys were frozen at this point in time and very unhappy. Tian managed to get and edge which Corie couldn’t hold onto. Corrie made up for this with a great catch off of Tian. Matt was replaced after 10 great over’s by the Ice Man Jason H. Jason picking up a stick with an edge and superb catch by Corrie. Roy was shouting at everyone as we were not going quickly enough. This resulted in some pressure and Tian quickly picked up the remaining wickets leaving the oppo 187 all out. Now I have left this till lat in order to capture what can only be described as an overall picture of some special Ringling brother circus fielding. I will bullet point them to save time.

Jason’s Two dropped catches
Nick’s staying alive dropped catch routine followed closely by his attempt at a one hand pick up which resulted in a face plant.
Ryan’s one step forward and 12 steps back resulting in the ball dropping exactly where he was standing and flying through for a dropped catch and boundary-double bonus points.
Corries 2 sharp chances which nearly resulted in toothless first slips.
Nk’s drop
Steve being shot by a sniper and face planting after doing the running man on the spot.
AJ’s chase and race with Jason resulting in a sideways face plant.
Craig “Smokey the bandits” wonderful left hand underarm and a skip throw which brought back memories of his princess days.

After thawing out with numerous cups of tea Steve and Matt took to the field to chase down the target. All I am going to say is that they batted superbly with both smashing the bowlers to all parts. Steve destroying the young opening bowler and his bat. Bothe reached their fifties before Steve decided to open up and launch the bowlers to all and sunder. Steve reaching his century. The boys took us to the victory target of 188 off of only 23 overs. Special note must be made of the oppo short leg who was obviously as mad as a hatter. He was seen flinging himself out of the way as Steve unleashed howitzer after howitzer but gamely continued. Matt managed to pin him. He switched to silly point only to have an absolute rocket sent past his face by Steve. The poor guy dropped the only chance to come his way.

Superb batting by both lads leading to a 10 wicket win. Numerous funnels followed the game due to the insane amount of fines.

Man of the match- Matt Reid for a great 60 odd and 2 sticks.
Batsman of the game- Steve
Muppet of the match- To many to list.
Disturbing moment of the match- Roy for his non stop rubbing of the ball in the towel including a grab of the towel to dry some other type of balls as the naked oppo member emerged from the shower after the game.

Saturday 1st vs Norwood exiles (away) 10/05/08

Well this was it, the first match of the new season for the sat 1st league team.Out went the emails the team was ready and excited to start the new campaign in Div 2 of the AJ league.
The day started auspiciously, everyone to be there at 12:45pm.
well The captain decided to be late to meet everyone at the station, not a good start.We then proceeded to go to the esso down the road to organise stuff and harper decided to go to a different esso about 5 miles away.
well i was fuming, we were all late ,we lost the toss by default. and got dressed on the field..:)
the oppo decided to bat first. Ryan L and Matt reed opened the bowling.
after some great bowling from Ryan and Matt, matt got a breakthrough bowling the one opener.
Ryan soon followed with a great ball to sent middle stump flying. 2 down for about 10.
craig (I have hands the size of a gorilla) caught a beauty in 2nd slip, you would swear he was trying to impress the big girls on the side lines. 3 down. Next over Ryan bowled ,batsman smashed a off drive at about 300mph, Roy stood dived then stuck out his knee,only to have the ball nearly break his leg in half, there was mass sympathy in the team, the sound could be heard 10 miles away. But the brave Captain (And strong ) took that one for his lads. he then performed the best Oscar performance by a cricket player,writhing in pain on the deck hoping some of the big girls pretty(petite) friends would come and stretcher him off the field. Nope instead he got told to crack on, and stop being a girl. nice teammates hey.?
Craig (Big hands big banana ball) came in and dispatched 2 of more.It was looking good 5 for 60 odd.The oppo then started building an innings, and were soon getting out of hand.
they put on about 100 runs, before hefner(I forgot there was cricket on today), got a vital breakthrough.Matt Reed came back on and cleaned up the rest.Taking 6 for 29 (fantastic effort) End score 188 all out

Well we thought we can get this easily......
Steve and matt opened the batting and started well, until Matt was LBW for 7.
In came Jason H (I am going to get a prize for most ducks in a season) got a .........you guessed it a duck..:) hefner came in still thinking he was at the night club last night, he stroked a glorious coverdrive then decided to follow that one back to the hut.Steve in the mean time was cracking the ball all over the place . In strode Gerry Springer. Cometh the moment cometh the man.
Gerry was in great form, holding the innings together. Steve (I am a happy hooker) got out hooking again, Corrie went in and out, Imran got a shocker of an LBW. we were suddenly 6 down for 60 odd. In came old banana boy Craig. Well for those of you who do not know Craig, he does not possess a block shot. the ball was screaming all over the place, Craig and Gerry put on about 100 odd. it was looking good, then Gerry went out . The brave captain went in and smashed the ball around and then got bowled, Ryan went in and decide he wanted to give Jason H competition for Ducks. out for 0. 22 to get Tush strides to the wicket nearly throws up and then listens to Craig's advice of "take it easy" by pounding the opening bowler for a huge six, he then walked nonchalantly down the pitch checking the condition of the pitch. Craig then managed to get the strike and hit the winning 2 runs,what a close game 189/9.
The funnel of shame came out in all its glory after the match for a great start to the season.

Man of the match - Craig H
Bowler - Matt Reed
Oscar nomination- Roy C
quack quacks - Jason H /Ryan H/Imran S

MCCC 3rd XI vs. Battersea Ironsides Friendly XI (10/5/08)

Result: MCCC 3rd XI drew with Battersea Ironsides Friendly XI

The Mighty (unbeaten) 3rd's rolled up to Haydon’s Road rec. looking to continue their fine start to the season on a blisteringly hot day. There were several changes to the side who beat Albamorphics last week due to the clubs rotation policy but Captain Cliffo was brimming with confidence nonetheless. The pitch was looking a little green but unlike the previous week it was firm underfoot and the outfield had been cut so batting was going to be rather more rewarding.

Brian lost the toss and was inserted but had to agree to a timed game with the only playing conditions being “20 overs after 6:30 pm” and “tea at about 5ish”.
Undeterred the skipper sent Vivek and Hemant out to provide a solid base for the innings. The oppo’s opening bowlers (and keeper) were in a generous mood however and 30 of the first 37 runs came in extras off only 6 or 7 overs. The partnership was broken by a brilliant run out from a direct throw from almost on the boundary (fow 38-1). Hemant “look for Three!” Patel (4 off 10 balls, 1 four), run out looking for 3, who would have guessed that!

Paul Low strode to the crease hoping to get off the mark for the season and he nudged a single to ensure his batting average would end the day higher than Fergal's. Vivek was out soon after though (11 off 22, 1 four) (43-2) when a full toss hit him in front of the stumps and lodged in his pad. This brought Theo to the crease who was determined to get some runs on what looked like a pretty good pitch. Paul and Theo again looked to build an innings taking their time to play themselves in but this ended when Paul played all around a decent ball which clipped the top of his off stump (6 off 14, 1 four) (54-3). Theo was looking a lot more settled by now and along with Tom “everything hits the middle of the bat” Compton started to play a few shots which moved the score on to 69 when Tom missed a straight one (4 off 9, 1 four) to give the first change bowler a wicket (69-4) and bring in Girish “not often out” Patel.

Girish was in great form and along with Theo, some good running and some more wides from the oppo, started to push the score along at a decent rate. Theo was looking quite good by now and decided to “unleash the Kaboom!” but after dispatching the opposition skipper for a glorious straight 4 he tried to repeat the dose and was duly bowled “missing the Kaboom!” for (20 off 42, 2 fours) (110-5). This brought last weeks hero Andy “not so angry” Allen to the crease but unfortunately the expectation was too much and he was out LBW to one that cut in at him (0 off 3) (110-6). At this point MCCC 3rds have traditionally had a bit of a wobble and with Ewan in next there was an air of apprehension about...

Ewan had other ideas however and dug in with the sole aim of not getting out after 34 scoreless balls he eventually got off the mark with a classy flick through mid wicket for two. Throughout this Girish had kept the score moving nicely and hand now reached 50 at about a run a ball. The shout now went out from the Skipper to up the rate (or as he put it “Unleash the Kaboom!”). Cue “shot-a-ball madness” from Ewan (a tactic discussed earlier in the day) who started off with a thick edge for two over the slips, then danced down the wicket but without timing it, finally succumbing by being bowled attempting a reverse sweep. Ewan fell for a remarkable (4 off 38) (163-7, partnership 53).

This brings Brian “Kaboom!” Clifford in and the next hour or so is mayhem. After three ugly swipes and a couple of missed stumping attempts of his first 4 balls he then opens his account with a massive 6 over cow corner. With almost an incident a ball, good running, inventive shotmaking (Brian only) and against tiring 3rd/4th change bowlers Cliffo began to pile on the runs. He brought up his maiden 50 off about 28-30 balls with a big 6, it was a fantastic innings. He was bowled “missing the Kaboom!” not long after for a rapid 53 off only 34 balls (248-8). Vice-captain Raj tried to emulate the skipper with some big shots but failed and was bowled “again missing the kaboom” 2nd ball for 0 (251-9). This brought Rich in for the last 4 balls of the over and he hit one 4 in 4* off 4 balls, at this the skipper declared leaving Girish (75*(78) 7 fours) MCCC 255-9.

A fine tea was enjoyed by all, including some rather good spicy chicken wings, before MCCC marched out looking for the win. The time was about 5:30 and so we were going to have to bowl them out in around 35 overs.

Rich and Raj opened up and for a short while it looked as if Battersea were attempting to chase the total as runs flowed freely thanks to some inventive and attacking field settings eventually runs slowed, with Andy “Unluckiest bowler for the day” Allan bowling particularly well with out luck. Early wickets weren’t coming though and eventually Brian turned to the off-spin of Hemant Patel this worked a treat as with his fourth ball he tempted the left handed opener down the track for Vivek “I drop catches for fun” Sarohia to complete a good stumping. Tom replaced Andy A at the other end and proceeded to remind the author of a young Phil Tufnell with some wiley left arm spin, this proved inspired and the other opener holed out to Girish “I’ve dropped my catches for the season” Patel at long off.

It was beginning to look a bit too little too late, but brief flurry of wickets for Girish at the end (3-2-4-3) gave us hope. In the end Battersea closed the day on 153-5 and a draw was reached.

The match was played in an excellent spirit and had far more incidents than I could fit into this report (without making it several hundred lines longer) and a good time was had by all.

Man of the match goes to Girish Patel for 75* and 3 wickets. Special mention to Cliffo for his maiden 50.

Well played all, the thirds remain unbeaten.

Captain's Comment

A really good performance by the team, sadly we couldn't force home a victory but we'll claim a "moral" victory from a winning draw. Bowling lacked a bit of bite (myself very much included) but by the time we bowled it we were hot and tired, bowling with a dead ball against a team that had sort of decided to play out a draw (although their opening partnership gave us a scare). In hindsight I wish I'd declared earlier and opened up a definite result.

PS: Monty award - the skipper for a couple of misfields

Jonty award - nobody stands out, so Vivek gets it for not dropping any catches....

Sunday 1st XI vs Merton - Away(4/5/08)

Won


The Sunday boys where at John's Inn Recreation to play Merton this past Sunday. The rain had held off long enough for us to get a game in. The toss was won by us, and so it was a good way to start the season. We elected to bat thus sending out Steve Cummings and debutant Matt Reed to the crease. They both started off well pushing the ball around until Steve decided to try and pull their medium-slow opening bowler into the next county and only succeeding in skying the ball to square leg. Steve marched off moaning about not having a long enough bat. This brought to the wicket Imran Dhoni. Imran and Matt then went about there business pushing on at a pretty decent run rate, but it wasn't long before Imran gave the keeper some catching practice and he was gone. In came Maj and anyone who knows him knows he's not one to stick around, Matt and Maj got the score up to 100 0ff 20 overs quickly, both of them putting in some great shot's before getting bowled by one of the oppositions decent spinners. Matt was gone soon afterwards, bowled also. Next in was the new Sunday captain. Wicket's kept falling quickly with N.k. Jadid and Tush back in the pavilion in no time at all. The innings was starting to wobble a bit at this stage. In came another debutant in Riaz, and him and Ryan starting building a pretty useful partnership as with every ground this time of the year the outfield usually resembles the Amazon jungle, so lot's of running was being done. Riaz was eventually run out trying to go for a third run. Mittal walked out and was quite happy to feed Ryan the strike. The guys managed 209 and it was a easily defendable total.

A good tea was had and the team came out rejuvenated, Ryan and Matt opened the bowling, it was nice and tidy and Matt picked up the first wicket. It was at this time that the first of about four catches were dropped, the ball was edged and heading to first slip when Imran decided to stick out his glove out and then retract it at the last second leaving the ball to be parried. Bowlers were changed and Tush (How do I block) and Mittal(You can have the strike) came on and both bowled well, Tush had a sharp chance go down with Steve sprinting backwards for a high skied ball and putting a dive in but just not getting there. Steve had another chance a couple of minutes later but forgot to put his hands together and fluffed it. Maj also fluffed high one. Mittal got his man later with Tush taking a tidy catch. He followed that up with an even better catch at mid-on, taking it above his head and then proceeding to telling us that the senior players in the team have to take responsibility when it comes to taking catches, what ever that means. By this time N.k. was on and confusing the hell out of the batsmen. He had a chance of a hat-trick. The batsmen offered to take a dive for a tenner but nobody seemed to have there wallets on them. Jim picked up a deserved wicket in the mean time and then was changed to bring on Matt to clean up the tail picking up another wicket in the process. Tush also returned and claimed the last wicket. Thus wrapping the innings up for 110 and a easy victory.

Scorecard:
www.mordencorinthians.play-cricket.com/scoreboard/scorecard.asp?id=10582967

MCCC "3rds" against Albamorphics
Saturday 3rd May 2008


Brian's boys descended on Cheam Recreation Ground full of hope for two reasons. Firstly, they'd already won their first game of the season which meant they'd already won half as many games as in the entirety of last season. Secondly, this was the ground on which they brought up the first win of last year's utterly forgottable campaign. Could they keep the winning run intact? As per usual, a variety of changes occured from the previous week Paul, Theo, Vikram, Richard and David all missing out, with Imran "The Chairman" Ahmad, Tom "Don't tell the missus I'm here" Compton, Vivek "Demoted from the 2nd team" Sarohia and Nabhan "Shazza" Shiraz coming in. Nabhan was making his debut for MCCC.

Anyway, the skipper lost the toss and was invited to bowl on a strip that reminded him of his university back garden circa 2000. Damp, unmowed and unloved.

The usual opening pair of Clifford and Sharma opened up with their usual wayward venom. The skipper at least managed to locate the cut strip this week and after a variety of unsuccessful backfoot baseball shots, the oppo's opening bat skied one to short fine leg to seal the breakthrough. This brought Albamorphics' main man to the crease and after a let off first ball, he started to settle in. They had crawled to 10 runs off 10 overs when Andy "There's only one Andy Allan" Allan got one to pop off a length and Vivek took a tidy catch off the glove. However, both the batsman and the umpire remained unmoved! Andy was outraged, although Vivek's anger was slightly mitigated by his surprise at actually catching one. Andy's mood wasn't improve when the same batsman deposited him for a huge six a few moments later.

The second wicket fell a little later with Geoff "Line and length" Balasoglou picking up his third wicket of the season, already an improvement on last year, with a fine edge through to Saucepan Hands Sarohia. Geoff struck again a little later with a skier to the skipper who pouched it while staring into the sun with his Jimmy Anderson approved sunglasses doing the business. For a little while after this the mighty 3s slipped into old habits. The slog overs crept up, the ball started disappearing over people's heads, dropping short of fielders and when is finally arrived as a catching opportunity it would be grassed. Special mention to Vivek "Use two hands" Sarohia who dropped one that was up so high that the RAF scrambled a fighter jet to intercept it.

Eventually we picked up a couple more sticks, both taken by Vivek (caught off Cliffo and stumped off Girish). The oppo closed on 136, which looked a decent total. If we'd held our chances they could have scored less than 100, but given some of the shambolic performances last season it would seem churlish to complain about what was overall and extremely competent bowling and fielding performance.

So, 137 to get. Less than 4 an over with a short boundary on one side and a team that, supposedly, bats all the way to 10...

The plan was to send out the Patel brothers to play their natural game and leave us with plenty of wickets in hand to have a bit of a slog at the end.

First ball of the innings, their opening bowlers runs in 40 yards. Stops at the crease and delivers a ball that completely mesmerises Girish and he loses his off bail. This was not in the plan.

Fast forward 10 minutes and Hemant has joined his brother on the boundary edge. As has the chairman. 8-3 off 10 overs and in strikes Tom Compton who's only had one net session in 7 months. Panic stations? You bet. We've been here before, far too many times. The dressing room was pretty quiet. We've thrown it away again. Tom wandered out and started to play like a test match batsman. Resolute in defence, then pounded the bad ball. He made just 9 before being bowled, but his attitude of death or glory breathed new life into the game. Nabhan came and went without troubling the scorers bringing us bad to earth with a bump. 29-5 now and in comes the new Andy Allan.

Andy and Vivek (who had stood slightly dumbstruck while the carnage at the other end went on) started to rebuild the innings, tucking into the backup bowling and generally looking reasonably solid. They guided us through to drinks at 41-5 off 20. 95 needed off the last 20 overs. Doable, but the light was fading, there were spots of rain in the air and most importantly there was just the tail to come afterwards.

The boys went back to work after the drinks break and their concentration was unstinting. Andy was solid in defence, but as soon as the bowlers erred even a fraction, the ball went sailing over the rope. It should be mentioned at this point that the outfield was about 6 inches long, there was no value in playing shots along the ground, which our Australian chum soon worked out! Vivek played the supporting role here, knowing that he just needed to run the singles and keep his wicket intact.

The partnership was finally broken on 88 with Vivek chipping tamely to cover to end his 78 ball vigil. We had been cruising our way back into the game, but suddenly the butterflies returned. 8 overs left, 49 needed. In strides Cotter, wearing his pregancy chest protector, 3 balls later back he strides having nicked one to the keeper off of the Albamorphic version of Pinkney. In comes the captain with his pants quickly browning up. It's not enough that the game situation was tighter than one of Azam's t-shirts, he also had to exorcise the ghosts of last week's dismissal off Pinkney's first ball. 3 balls left in the over - tentative forward defensive, ugly play and miss, ugly play and miss. Somehow he survived.

49 off 7 overs now... Andy in one strike and back comes one of their main bowlers. What followed was quite extraordinary. Dot, six, six, two, two, six. 22 off the over and for the first time in 30 mnutes the pressure is starting to ease off. At some point in this barrage Andy passes his 50, but it's partly lost in the mayhem.

The next couple of overs go by without too much incident, the opening bowlers are brought back from one end, but Andy successfully negiotes them to leave us with just the back up bowling. However in the process the rate has inched back up to 5 an over. 4 left, 20 needed and the skipper is one strike to face the big West Indian.

It's death or glory time for the skipper who decides to take matters in his own hands/hog the limelight and launches into a succession of big mows. Four back over the bowler's head, four over mid off's head, two which just falls over mid on's head and then a single. Assault over? No chance, Andy is now on strike and annihilates one over midwicket for six!

3 needed off 3 overs. Brian is on strike and absolutely middles one, sadly because of the outfield he only picks up two. With the scores square he walks down the wicket but can't get the ball away. Next ball he does the business and launches a wide legside long hop for six over the short square leg boundary. An unbelievable three wicket win is pulled off and the bench go bananas.

Scorecard

Man of the match

Andy Allan. 8 excellent, if luckless, overs and then a match winning fifty.

Special comment to Vivek's ballsy innings which held us together and allowed Andy to play his natural game.

Each member of our fearsome fast bowling quintent were outstanding too, especially the new and improved Geoff Balasoglou.


Monty moment

Vivek dropping a huge skier.

Jonty moment
Ewan Cotter's agressive display at short midwicket/short cover. FEAR THE ARM!

Captain's comment

A great victory. We had so many similar games last season where we would have conceded 200+ and then limped to 100 all out. It was extremely encouraging to see everyone contribute and most importantly to hold our bottle and chase down the runs despite the three big guns (Girish, Hemant, Imran) only scoring three between them.

Big thanks go to everyone from Albamorphics for the great spirit in which the game was played and their splendid hospitality.

2nd XI vs Temple Bar - Away (3/5/2005)
Lost

A new season, new optimism for runs and wickets and glorious innings. Confidence was high... After a week of rain, the skip A.K.A - Simon "Im too for school in this leather jacket" Watt sent out the word. The game was on!!!

Saturday arrived, the sun was out and a very pleasant day arrived. We arrived at the grounds, which are hidden behind the Legal & General offices. Before I continue with this adventure, its worth noting that this building is imposing. Similar to the way in which the Leeds prison fulled with a gang of society's less salubrious individuals. In what can only be described as architectural principle similar to Alcatraz, tall towers watching over the the daily toilers with contempt.

After walking for about 5 miles around the prison we arrived at the grounds... which are fantastic in truth. The pitch report was limited from Pal. Its wet and soft. And this pretty much set the tone for the entire day. Temple Bar to bat and MCCC to bowl.

Andrew "Im a batter not a bowler" Jarrett opened the bowling in tandem with Azam "If these shades dont have the ladies screaming Im going home" Malik. The opening pair took a few overs to get going. Azam managed to bowl opener one with a ball that was in truth, terrible. It was pitched short, and really wanted to be a bouncer, however on meeting the surface it decided to have a cup of tea, a snooze and then put in an application to Wimbledon LTA as a change in careers to that of a tennis ball. The opener stepped back played a pull shot, pulled again, and then finallygave up as the ball trundled into the wicket.

Andy was getting some good movement with pace and was disgusted when the ball was played to a vacant mid on area for a single. It turned out that this area was vacant as Mark "I aint no city slicker" Bartram, was emptying his bowels with the previous nights beverages into the flower bushes on the edge of the grounds. At this stage Temple bar were around 50/1 and were going well. The bowlers were replaced with Tush "This life has 7 cats" Wadha and Steve "I dont look my age" O Neil. Immediately the run rate slowed. It was at about this time in the game that the chances started to arrive, and were leaving just as quickly. Andrew "My dives are so sexy" Jarrett almost took a sharp chance off the remaining opener at leg slip. This opener offered about half a dozen more chances. AJ was involved in most of these and one would almost believe that this batsmen had some sort of agreement. On recollection, the author clearly re-calls AJ and the opener being left together in the change room. AJ was seen about 10 minutes later with a grin the size of the grand canyon. One can only imagine what took place to cause AJ to drop about 500 catches off the same individual, who went on to score a solid 50.

In the meantime Pal C was called apon to turn his arm over. In a spell of 10 overs for 43 runs, Pal managed to collect 3 wickets. However, in truth it should have been more, as most batsmen we playing with about the same knowledge of his deliveries as a certain Mr Gooch playing a young blonde haired aussie spinner in the 90's.

It was the serious training in the bar throughout the off season that probably lead to the poor fielding. This included a Messers Ware in attempting to take a catch, actually ending up volleying the ball (aka beach ball style) back to the stumps, Messers Brown playing the ball off his knee deep into the covers for an extra few. Messers Malik watching the ball tumble to the ground 1/2 foot to his right because he had struck a pose that had chicks running onto the field screaming. The oppo ended up with a total of 218 off a very long 45 overs.

After tea (around midnight) the 2nd XI went out to bat with Jason "No-one touchs my pads" and Dan "Token Aussie" Ulzhoefer. There was some very good line and length bowling that pegged back the opening pair. However MCCC failed to pick up the finer points of cricket allowing their wicket rate to overtake their run rate. At one stage we were 5 down for 4 runs. Not exactly an enthralling start, and put to an end any thoughts of a run chase. The top order scores were closer to football scores than cricket. Jason was gunned by Steve "Trigger finger" O Neil, Dan was run out, AJ tried to hit the socks off a slow one, but a piece of tape about a meter long hanging off his bat touched the ball, Pal had one pop off a length. Azam forgot what a defensive shot looked like as did Mark "I play with Celery sticks" Batram.

As per usual, it was left to the middle and lower order batsmen to try redeem what pride we had with our standard rear-guard action. As is customary this was initiated by Tush whom is well know for his rear guard abilities. The skip had been holding up an end and only scoring in boundaries, chipped in with a solid 17 and was unfortunate to get out to one of the familiar tennis ball bounces. This left Cuan "Destroyer of fielders" Brown and Steve "lost in no mans land" O Neil, with 8 down and 40 on the board. Messers Brown first delivery was a full toss that was in the air for so long it was almost named as new moon. In attempting to hit the delivery to the outer Hebrides, Messers Brown decided to play the ball off the back of the bat and guide it down behind square. However the delivery turned into a scud rocket that targeted the closest piece of soft tissue, which unfortunately happened to be the top lip of the keeper that was standing up to the stumps. In the immortal words of Mark Boucher... "Catch it or wear it", unfortunately due to a lack of any protective head gear, the latter was closer to the truth for said keeper. The scud rocket homed in and turned the keepers lip into something resembling that of a birth of a new child.

A replacement keeper was found in the form of one of the opening bowlers (to the relief of the batsmen) and Temple bar we 1 man down. Messers Brown and O'Neil wagged the tail with one or 2 shots closely resembling cricket strokes. This got the score up to 70 odd, before Messers O'Neil called for a runner. AJ was on in flash, wanting some more quality time with his his "Good Friend" the opener. As in most cases whenever a runner appears, confusion reigned. AJ and Q took a quick single, but Steve "The laws of cricket dont apply to me" O Neil wandered out his crease to watch the action and was eventually stumped about 30 minutes later as he stood dumbfounded, like a rabbit in the headlamps, about 2 feet out of his crease. Steve left for a well earned rest and a deserved 21.

Steve "No average" Vickery proceeded to hold an end as the tail wagged and got the score up to just over 100. Messers Brown revelled in the fact that he could get some batting practise and had 10 players at his beck and call to fetch the ball. So much so that himself and Steve "I dont play at anything outside the off stump" Vickery hung around for 20 odd overs of fun in the sun (in the dark), and by the end, they were needing torches to follow the balls. Thus ensuring that both of them have eclipsed their total scores for the previous 3 years combined and promotion up the order for the next game was guaranteed.

Well done to Temple Bar for a great bowling performance and super spirit. A thoroughly un-convincing performance from the 2nd XI, but some good signs starting to appear.


Man of the Match - Cuan "Visions of Vyv Richard" Brown for showing how you can have a solid defense, but still play attacking shots off the back of the bat and a score of 28 n/o.

Memorable moments - AJ enjoying some "Special Time" with his oppo mate in the change room. Azam appealing for so long and loud that children all over south west London started crying and alarms spontaneously sounded.

The score card can be found here...

http://mordencorinthians.play-cricket.com/scoreboard/scorecard.asp?id=10597405