League versus Woking and Mayberry
Oppo- 113 all out
Morden- 114 for 3.
Morden won by 7 wickets

The League crew descended upon Woking to play the most important game of the season. Knowing that a win would capture the League Title for the club and a loss would leave the boys empty handed for the season. The authors GPS broke down 1 mile from the ground and he hoped that this was not a bad omen. In any event the crew arrived safely including Roy C who seemed to be held together by band aids. Roy was not happy as his main tent peg hand had been damaged and this slowed his ability to pitch a tent down dramatically. The boys gathered around wondering what that strange yellow thing was in the sky and why the sky was blue instead of the normal black and grey... One could be mistaken for thinking that the groundsman was away on holiday as the pitch had more grass on it than the outfield and it appeared as if the roller had not been used since the last sunny day which was back in May. Anyway, the boys are always prepared to play on anything as long as we get some cricket on a Saturday.

Our fine example of a skip Gerry won the toss and decided o bowl for once. This was clearly an indication that he meant business. The boys changed and ran out onto the pitch. Morden opened up with the fiery pace of Andy Allan and Andrew “somewhere on the Pitch” Jarrett. Andy A bowled a good first over. Play was held up as Andy J’s shoe disintegrated from his foot. Play resumed after 5mins and some emergency repair with grass and sticks to the shoe by Kaleem, with Andy j ambling up and true to form delivering the first few down the leg. Andy A resumed with another good over. The oppo looked to be very wary as both bowlers found a good line and some big movement. The pressure was building as both Andy’s applied some restrictive bowling. Andy J struck first getting one to jag back and bowling the opener. He followed this up by being no balled for providing the number 3 with some chin music. The pressure was building and Andy A was unlucky. Getting to much movement to take the edge. Andy A was replaced by the Banana King – aka Craig “ The big kahuna” Harper. Craig producing an absolute jaffa of a banana ball with his first delivery and removed the number 3’s middle pin. The oppo were now 14-2 off of 8. Andy J was given the green light to continue bowling by the skip much to the Joy of his abused lungs. He repaid the skip by bowling the other opener. Oppo were now 18-3 off of 10. Craig struck again with another banana ball and removed the number 4. AJ was into his 6th over now and had the number 5 caught by the skip at first slip. The boys were feeling it now with the oppo 20-5. Craig continued to bowl well as did AJ. The wheels officially fell off for AJ in his eighth over, the nicotine and oxygen levels were severely out of sync and as a result his body expelled one of his lungs at the same time as his shoe gave up hope of clinging to his foot. AJ crawled off to the sideline to find a balloon to act as a lung and to ask his missus to perform cpr on him

AJ was replaced by the Mumbai express Tush. Tush began with some wides and a four. Tush steamed in and produced a great delivery which the bat missed. This prompted Tush to talk some smack and produce the five finga face rub to the bat. The batsman looked confused as were the rest of us. We had no time to figure out the symbolic nature of the verbal and hand abuse as the batsman smashed Tush for a ginormous six the very next ball. Maybe Tush was indicating to the bat that six is one more than the five fingers he was waving in front of his face. The skip replaced Tush with kaleem and bought himself on at the other end to replace Craig. Now the Muppet moments which were to follow in the field defies belief. Gerry dropped one off of kaleem but this was just the calm before the storm. Gerry picked up a good lbw to remove the number 6 who was beginning to look settled. The woking middle order decided to attack the spin. The batsman launching a big straight shot off of Gerry. Now Craig “ Destination unknown “ Harper and Andy “ I cant breathe or feel my legs” Jarrett were patrolling at long off and long on respectively. The ball headed toward long on and Craig. AJ set off anyway to provide backup. As AJ was running toward Craig he was shocked to see Craig launch himself off his feet like a bad Bruce Lee impersonation. AJ hesitated as he was unsure as to whether Craig was trying to kung fu his ass or attempting to catch the ball wit his toes. In any event it all ended with tears as Craig fell on his ass and the ball slammed into the fence much to the Joy of the skip. Aj returned to his spot at long on laughing but Craig decided that this was only round one. The very next ball saw the bat launch one straight at Craig. Craig ran in and then collapsed like he had been shot by a sniper in the bushes. The ball sailing through his hands and slamming into the fence once more. Craig got up cussing like a trooper only to be lambasted by a grandfather on the sideline who didn’t appreciate the words that were emminating from Craig. Craig was hanging his head in shame as AJ was laughing his bollocks off to add to his missing lung. But fate had some plans for AJ. The bat then launched one towards AJ. Aj charged in but was blinded by the sun, distracted by a police siren, tripped in a 5 foot deep ditch and was then undone by a ball that spun at least 15feet to the left leaving AJ on his face. To rub salt into the wounds AJ jumped up and made a desperate dive to stop the ball rolling over the rope. Again he landed face first with the ball eluding his finger by mm’s and rolling over the boundary. He immediately told everyone that the ball landed in a hole and spun 20 feet sideways. No one believed him though. Roy chirped away like a vervet at feeding time, only to have fate come his way. Roy had all ready pulled off a Muppet moment by using his shin to try and catch a ball but this one took the cake. Roy fielding at a close leg slip had a dobbler sent his away. Roy stood their like a vervet monkey in the searchlight and allowed the ball to amble past him. The batsmen were able to take a single. Never before have batsmen taken a single to a ball that was most probably 2cms away from a fielder standing 3 feet away from the wickets. Roy snapped out of his dream and picked up the ball and hurled one at mach 3 straight through Kaleem at the bowlers end. Kaleem obviously not fancying dieing trying to stop a ball flying faster than the speed of light. The resulting overthrow costing another run. So good result to the batsman. Playing a shot 3 feet away from the wicket and straight to a fielder resulting in 2 runs. Could things get any worse? Well Steve C took an amazing catch on the boundary off Kaleems bowling to get rid of the big hitter. Kaleem followed this up with another wicket a great stumping from Brian. The next batsman launched one straight up to long off and to a waiting Nick “ I is so cool” Hughes. Hefner looking like a pro with his shades on out on the boundary. Hefner charged in, realized that the alcohol in his system was playing tricks on him and that the ball was going over his head and decided to charge back. Hef took a great catch on the boundary but then for some unknown reason flung himself over the boundary. The results of the drugs test are still to be received so we can not account for this action as of yet. Anyway Hef thought he would look ultra cool and flung the ball back as he did his swan dive over the boundary. Saving six. He was questioned as to why he didn’t fling the ball back in the air and attempt to catch it again rather than throw it straight onto the ground. His response involved something about our mothers so we left it at that. After the spectacle Hefner resumed looking cool on the boundary. Anyway kaleem and Gerry wrapped up the innings with a stick a piece. The oppo all out for 114. Tea was taken with Craig, AJ, Nick and Roy taking some serious heat on the sidelines. Craig was resigned to the abuse, Nick just looked cool, Roy was re taping his fingers and icing his leg and AJ maintained that the ball spun 26 feet. Anyway whilst the abuse flew Kaleem and Brain strode in to do battle. Woking opening with some good bowlers who bowled a good line and got seam movement at pace. Kalleem played some beautiful cover drives but then the wheels fell off with the score on 13. Brian was run out after slipping halfway down the pitch, slipping again in turning and falling over the line. Jason “Class” H strode out and scored 2 boundaries in 2 balls. He was undone by a short ball which he tried to play with the back of his bat. We are unsure as to whether Jason got confused as to whether he was batting or providing slip catching practice. He steered it straight to second slip using the back of the bat. This bought Hefner Hughes to the wicket. Kaleem was next out well stumped off of the opening bowler. The Woking keeper was very good indeed. Steve “ Related to Roy” Cummings strode out with the score 21-3 and the sidelines getting very nervous. The oppo were fired up and the chirp was coming thick and fast. Nick started playing his shots and was looking like he was in the mood to party. Rumors had it that he had only had 2 pints the night before. If these rumours were to be believed then this would be the first time that he had batted for the club without a hangover. Steve took some time to get going because he had a new bat and was blaming it for his mistimed shots. The tension was eased as the boys began to bat well against some good bowling. Nick producing some class and hitting some magic cover drives. We passed the 60 mark and Nick and Steve decided to open the throttle. Nick was severe on the spinner hitting him for 16 odd in an over. The boys carried us to 111. We need 3 to win and Nick needed 2 for a well deserved 50. Nick got his two and was applauded for a great knock. The game was over on a no ball. Great batting from nick and Steve who finished on 36 not out..

So the club gained its first league title. Well done to the club and the boys and a special congratulations must go to Jim Patel and Gerry for their hard work and contribution.

MOM- Shared amongst Craig, Nick, and Steve.
Muppet moment of the match- Shared between- AJ, Craig and Roy
Best Bruce lee impression- Craig
Best face plant- AJ
How not to use your leg to stop a cricket ball- Roy and Craig
To cool to care award- Hefner Hughes
Immune to abuse award cause I am the skip and dropped a catch award- Gerry

Saturday 28th July 2007 - MCCC vs Riverside
Lost by 8 wickets

[Match Photos]

This was always going to be a difficult game with our old rivals Riverside. We've had some good contests with them over the years but over the last couple of encounters they have proved to be quite a challenge whilst we have struggled.

The skipper unsually lost the toss and on this occasion and we found ourselves batting on a damp Haydons Road pitch. The weather forecast was good with some respite from the recent down pours. The outfield was quick and surprisingly dry.

In his role as a relucant opener, Azam Malik opened the batting with Cambell 'David's Nephew' Gower. No sooner had the innings started and we found ourselves one down with Cambell spooning a catch to short cover off the tight bowling of the Riverside skipper. For a while it looked like Azam 'Bam-Bam' Malik's day after being dropped early on. Azam raced to 15 whilst giving another 2 catching chances before his luck finally ran out when a ball went to a Riversider who could catch. The highlight of his innings was a supberb shot over the opening bowlers head to the boundary for four.

At 26-2 it was then down to the skipper Jason Ware and Mark Bartram to try and steady the ship. With the opening bowling pair taken off it looked like we had made some solid progress. Both Mark and Jason were looking comfortable. However, this was shortlived with Marky B another one to give his wicket away by giving an easy catch. Ryan Lang walked out to the middle to replace Mark. Things were begining to look a bit desperate.

Riverside's first change bowler was a biazare one. His first over lasted 12 balls and on the final ball there was a lapse in Jason's concentration as he unexpectedly got a straight one which shattered the stumps. Our most consistent batter of 2007, Simon 'Swato' Watts was next in at number 6. With the score at 46-4 the writing was already on the wall. The old right left combo in the batting did cause a few problems but Ryan tried to force one and played an early short again another batter caught. We were giving our wickets away far too easily here. Where is Girish Patel?

Imran Ahmad, who has so far batted like complete buffoon in 2007, found himself in far somewhat earlier than he expected. Eager to show gratititude
for some batting time Imran played it safe against some tight riverside bowling. Riverside's spinner who incidently looks a bit like Sussex and Pakistan fast bowler Rana Naveed was keeping one end tied down with is tidy line. Meanwhile, Simon was pushing the singles around and playing some very orthodox drives whilst despatching the bad ball to the boundary.
The Riverside Skipper Ian Geevans had been the pick of the bowling so far had kept himself back for 2 overs decided to come back on. Ian was indeed a tough competitor but had this really annoying habbit of re-arranging the field after each ball. This making it difficult to concentrate. Ian's 2nd spell was just as tight as his first with both Simon and Imran unable to get the ball away. Ian even tried coming around the wicket in this last spell making even harder for us. Our main goal was not to lose any more wickets. Ian Geevan's spell finished with figures for 2 wickets for 8 runs from 8 overs with 3 maidens.

The next Riverside bowler provided some nice medium pace to play with. Imran finally got off the mark with an aggressive smack over cover with one bounce to the boundary. The majority of the strike was being given to Simon when the opportunity arose with Simon availing any easy singles that could be had. Imran carved some nice drives out to accelerate to 13 when Simon called for sharp single with Imran running to the danger end. In the end it was a pretty close call but the run out decision was confirmed. to confim only 18 runs coming from the last 3 wickets with the Morden innings closing on 127 runs. The pick of the batting was Simon Watts with his 36. In truth we were at least fifty to sixty runs short on a wicket where batting conditions had improved as the game had gone on.

After a wholesome tea Bam Bam Malik opened the bowling at the breaze block end with left arm fast bowler Ryan Lang at the other end. Azam bowled his best spell of the season keeping a tight line and length right from the start. Ryan's pace was causing all kinds of problems at the other end with each ball posing a different challenge. The batter at the non-striker end started shitting his pants and summoned the helmet. It was Azam at the other end that got the first breakthrough with Jason taking a sharp catch at first slip in an inspector gadget style forearm movement. Next in was Rana Naveed look-a-like who had punished us heavily in previous years. Rana Naveed looked strangely out of sorts. Azam struck again with a ball the cut back and bowled Rana round his legs. Game on.

Unfortunately the Riverside batters then knuckled down and didn't give any chances and cruised to a 8 wicket win. To be fair the game was over very early when we had lost our first 4 wickets for less than 40 runs.

MCCC Innings
1. Cambel Gower - Caught at Short Cover 0
2. Azam Malik - Caught 15
3. Mark Bartram - Caught 17
4. Jason Ware - Bowled 6
5. Ryan Lang - Caught 10
6. Simon Watts - LBW 36
7. Imran Ahmad Run out 13
8. Keith Pilgrim 0
9. Danor not out 9
10. Cuan not out 0
11. Graham Pinkeny DNB.
Total: 127 (22 Extras 12 Wides 4 Byes 8 Leg Byes)

Fall of Wickets
1-0, 2-26, 3-34, 4-46,5-64, 7-102,8-120

Riverside CC
1. G Manley ct Ware Bowled Azam
2. N. Sawar Bowled Azzam
3. J Gordon Not out 57
4. T Mahce Not out 27

Total 128 (24 Extras 5 No balls, 1 wide, 14 Byes, 4 Leg Byes)

Fall of Wickets
1-27, 2-32

MCCC Bowling
Ryan Lang 8-3-18-0
Azam malik 8-2-25-2
Graham Pinkey 4-0-25-0
Simon Watts 6-1-34-0
Imran ahmad 1.5-0-8-0

MCCC - Brian's XI vs Old Fulham Prims

Morden win by 22 runs

Having set out in bright sunshine, the early arrivals in Cheam were greeted by a torrential downpour. This began at 1pm and continued until just after the alloted start of 2pm. Chances of play looked bleak, given the dark cloud cover. Inexplicably, the home side wanted to hold off an a decision until just after 2pm, just in case the weather cleared up. Captain Cliffo watched another duck swim past the car and agreed to humour the opposition by waiting. Periodic updates were being passed to VC Cotter and Tom "The Mountie" Rebane, who were sat "sheltering" in a pub opposite the station (a mile away).

Incredibly, the sun then came out and the rain stopped. The captains went to inspect the pitch which was, unsurprisingly, damp but the outfield was playable and we agreed a 25 over game with a 3pm start. Captain Cliffo returned to the car park to rally the troops, alas some of the team had taken matters into their own hands and gone home, understandably assuming play would be impossible. This left Morden with 9 cricketers, at least 4 of which were violently hungover having attended the captain's birthday celebrations the night before. Panic stations. Thankfully Fergal's mate Paul agreed to fill in, along with Tush "Morden Parish didn't want me" Wadhwa.

Lumboo lost the toss and was inserted. Corporals Cotter and Rebane arrived with rabbit-approved sawdust to use on the run ups, no sign of a snorkel though. Morden were ready to roll.

Simon Hawkins and Vikram Sangar opened up, Simon looking in decent nick but Vikram succumbed to a golden duck, cutting uppishly to point. VC Cotter came and went to a plumb looking lbw decision and suddenly Morden are two down and on familarly wobbly ground. Fergal's mate Paul entered the fray and quickly disspelled his claims to be "a poker and a prodder" by dispatching the ball to all parts. Simon and Paul compiled a 60 partnership at 8 an over, giving Morden a great platform. Both players looked classy, especially considering the atrocious batting conditions. Paul eventually went caught behind for 31, with Simon following soon after for 37.

Morden needed to rebuild and sensible, cautious batting was required.... Instead Cliffo sent Tush and Tom to the crease. An attractive array of baseball shots followed in a thrilling partnership. Tom scored a huge home run (we call it a six over here Tom) over midwicket before being caught behind for his highest score for the club (12). Tush soon followed which left captain Clifford needing to rebuild with the tail. Then the heavens opened.....

Thankfully after a short delay we were able to restart. Morden on 99-7 with 5 overs left. Would we collapse or could Lumboo guide us to a platform? With a blood alcohol level around 95%, the skipper appeared confident but when both Theo and Fergal fell cheaply the belief appeared to be draining from the skipper. 4 overs left and David "Don't bat me at 11, I'm better than you" Clifford joined his brother at the crease. This is the first time they'd batted together since a family holiday to Cornwall in the mid 90s. The brothers rolled back the years in fine style with David playing beautifully and Brian scratching around at the other end. The partnership was 30, including a glorious straight drive over the bowlers head from Clifford junior. David finished on 19* and Brian was run out for 8 off the last ball, trying to pinch a single to the keeper.

The Prims do not provide teas, so with a quick turn around Morden were soon in the field and ready to defend a competitive total of 134.

Tush "Substitute" Wadhwa opened up with the skipper. Tush bowled a quick, controlled spell and had the batsmen in all sorts of problems. Brian was starting to sober up and struggled to find a consistent line (or length). Somehow the openers survived Tush's onslaught for nearly 30 minutes before he cunningly decided to slow it down and just hit the sumps. Bingo. One down. The Prims were slightly behind the rate, but the game is very much in the balance. Another over of pies from Clifford snr brought the oppo above the required rate and things began to look as bleak as the weather....

To the relief of his teammates, the captain graciously withdrew himself from the attack and brought David "Golden arm" Clifford on. With captain's pep talk "Come on Rikki Clarke" ringing in his ears, David began his spell. 6 balls later, Fulham Prims were 3 wickets down.... Second ball, David slipped in the wide long hop, which the batsman could only fend up in the air to Paul at mid off. Moments later, panic set in and the new batsman was run out at the non-striker's end after being sent back going for a second. A fine chase and throw from Simon created the opening, leaving David to demolnish the stumps despite the batsman being a full ten yards short of the crease. Morden were cock-a-hoop and sensing a first victory of the season..

A tiring Tush was rested, with Paul replacing him however the batsmen took advantage of the change in pace to pick up a couple of boundaries and crank the pressure back onto the bowlers. Tush was quickly recalled and a breakthrough came, a slower ball being mistimed up in the air and Vivek Sarohia made his first meaningful contribution of the day, running around to backward point to take a Hollywood catch. One wicket brings two and in the next over, David picked up his second wicket with their remaining openers lofting a ball to Tush who made a difficult catch look simple. Six down and it's pretty much game over with the required rate inching towards 9.

The rest of the order fell away somewhat, with Tush picking up two more wickets (caught Vikram and a bowled) and David taking one more (caught Paul). Old Fulham Prims needed 29 off the last over and in a show of brinkmanship the ball was thrown to Theo "Boycott" Moore who didnt disappoint, going for only 6 runs.

Morden completed their first win of a difficult season and disappeared off the to the pub for beer and birthday cake to celebrate.

Notable batting performances

Simon Hawkins 37
Paul Lowe 31
David Clifford 19
Tom Rebane 1 home run

Notable bowling performances

Tushar Wadhwa 10-0-37-4
David Clifford 7-0-24-3 (plus one run out)

Man of the match

Tushar Wadhwa wins, just. One more wicket and an additional fielding dismissal means David Clifford just loses out.

MCCC Saturday 2nd XI vs Cuddington Casuals
Saturday 7th July 2007

Match Played at: Dundonald Rec
Match Played home or away: Home
Weather: Hot, sunny and blue sky
Toss won by: MCCC lost toss and bowled first
Pitch Condition: Wet and spongy
Match Format: Overs Game (40 per side)

MCCC Batting Order:
M Oliver 5 (29) ct midwicket off a leading edge
G Patel 24 (35) 2x4 bowled off an inside edge, trickled on
B Padhiar 0 (4) thin top edge to keeper
A Walker 1 (11) top edged a skier to slip
H Patel 26 (74) 4x4 NOT OUT
A Khare 0 (5) bowled by a full ball
T Moore 0 (3) "kept low and cut in"
E Cotter 3 (8) chased a wide one and got a thin edge
C Patel 13 (34) 1x4 cut to point
R Sharma 17 (19) 1x4, 1x6 holed out to mid on
B Clifford 20 (18) 3x4, 1x6 NOT OUT

Oppostion Total: 257-4

Notable Bowling performances:
R Sharma 6-0-40-0
B Clifford 8-2-29-4
G Patel 8-1-64-0
A Khare 8-0-45-1
C Patel 6-0-31-0
H Patel 4-0-35-0

Match Result: Morden Lost by 138 runs

Champagne moment: Brian's 4 wickets

Additional Comments about match:
On the first warm day for some time, Brian's team played host to Cuddington casuals at Dundonald rec. The skipper was upbeat as usual declaring that he had a good feeling about the days game (mainly because he had checked out the oppo's website and they hadn't won a game all year either). Brian lost the toss and Morden were sent out to field (Brian declaring this was what he was going to do anyway).

The innings started well for Morden with Brian and Raj keeping things tight and snaffling a couple of wickets as well (Matt Oliver catching one opener at point off Brian, and Brian bowling the number three bat). Things were looking good with Cuddington 29-2 off 10 overs. Girish Patel and Amit came on 3rd and fourth change and continued to do well to leave the oppo70-2 at drinks. Morden were going to be made to pay for a couple of dropped chances as the Cuddington batsmen decided to up the rate against the spin of Hemant and Chirag. Amit came back and got bowled the number 4 for 66 (~140-3 off 30). At this point Axtell the Cuddington opener reached 50 as well and promptly decided to go mad flaying the bowlers to all parts as he flew past 100 in no time with a succession of big hits. Girish coming in for particular punishment finishing with 8-1-64-0. Axtell eventually holed out to long off (Girish taking a fine catch) just after reaching a brutal 150 in the last over. Brian bowled the new bat on the last ball for a duck to finish with 4 wickets, but the damage had been done… 257-5 looked a very tough chase.

After another great tea, the fondant fancies especially popular. Morden openers Mat O and Girish set out to try and give us a platform. Mat however struggled to time the ball but Girish was his usual solid self. After seeing off one of the opening bowlers Cuddington brought on their skipper who bowled gently flighted spin. Mat tried to tuck in but failed to go through with his shot and spooned it up to short mid wicket for 5 off 29 balls. Bhavin then edged the same bowler behind balls later and Morden needed a calming influence. This was not to be however as Adam Walker promptly top edged one to slip for 1 (11) (36-3). Hemant was next man in and tried to set about rebuilding when Girish was out in the most unfortunate of circumstances 24(35). A routine defensive came off the inside edge hit his pads and trickled into the off stump 36-4. The story of the season continued with Amit and Theo also departing without scoring (36-6). At this point Ewan and Hemant dug in and proceeded to occupy the crease. (Hemant took 32 balls to get off the mark), Ewan toe ended one to the keeper soon enough though for 3(8) 41-7. Chirag joined Hemant and decided to enjoy an extended net session eventually falling for 13(34) by cutting straight to point 72-8. Raj then came in and threw the bat around a bit including a tremendous pull for 6 over mid on before holing out o mid on attempting another the following ball. Brian duly came in and attempted to hit his first six of the season which he duly did in the last over over one of the longest boundaries finishing not out on 20(18). Hemant "The Wall" Patel making a defiant 26 off 74 balls. The late hitting took Morden past the hundred mark but we finished well short and lost by 138 runs.

Morden man of the match is Brian with 8-2-29-4 and 20*, special mention goes to Hemant who anchored the Morden innings with a marathon effort.

MCCC Saturday League Team vs Working & Horsell
Saturday 7th July 2007

Match Played at: Raynes Park
Weather: Hot, sunny and blue sky
Toss won by: MCCC lost toss and bowled first
Pitch Condition: Dry, green in places
Match Format: Overs Game (40 per side)
MCCC Total: 106

MCCC Batting Order:
1.B douglas
2.Kalim
3.Jason h
4.Steve c
5.Craig h
6.Ryan l
7.Gerry c
8.Tush w
9.Jim p
10.Andy a
11.Steve v

Notable batting performances:
Steve 44n.o
Jason 17

Oppostion Total: 103

Notable Bowling performances:
Jim took 3/17
Ryan 2/16

Match Result: mccc won

Additional Comments about match:
Gerry lost the toss on pitch 2 and the Oppo decided to bat, I must point out that Gerry (from the Freestate) had not noticed that we were about to start playing on a 'mini pitch'. First up was the fired up New Zealander and Princess Harper, Craig stepped (or should that be pranced) up to the occasion and took 4 wickets in quick succession. Unfortunately the game was discontinued as Gerry told the boys they had in fact being playing on the Under 12's pitch and would have to restart the game on a different pitch.

Then Tush and Ryan opened the bowling on Pitch 1 and gave Steve V a lesson on how to take the ball 5 foot wide of the leg stump. Ryan took 2 wickets with princess taking some good catches at square leg. This bowling spell was to mark the beginning of an 'excellent day 'of cricket for Tush 'I want to be Crocodile Dundee' who was trialling his new 'Crocodile Catches'. The 'Crocodile Catches' weren't quite as successful as Tush has hoped they would be, and as a result he dropped 4 catches and allowed the Oppo to double their score through some rather interesting fielding (how many 4's went through your legs tush???). Perhaps more time should be spent on focusing on the small red cricked ball and not trialling any more new manoeuvres on the field. Gerry didn't want Tush to feel bad about dropping so many catches so he decided to drop a one too just to put the smile back on the face of old Croc Dundee. Jim was up next and had a fantastic spell taking 3 wickets, with some fiery Indian aggression. Angry Alan roared on next and bowled some fiery overs to build up the pressure again. Craig 'I've already done my job' had exhausted himself on the Under 12's pitch and could only muster enough energy to take one wicket before taking a break. Khalim and Gerry finished off the innings with some good spin, getting the Oppo out for 103 runs

Modern didn't struggle with the bat; all 5 batsmen displayed some good hitting strokes and achieved the target with 7 wickets to spare.

Some of our boys were missing on Saturday most notability Roy 'I've been whipped' Cumings who pulled out in fine 'lastminute.com style'. Then of course who could forget Andy 'Chaverick' Jarret and Nick 'Hefner' Hughes who decided to go and help out the Saturday side I am sure your staggering total of 9 between the two of you was a much appreciated contribution. Knowing old Chaverick and hefner more contributions would be made with their mouths as apposed to the bat and ball.

20Twenty Versus Whytleaf in the Godstone Final
Morden Lost the Toss and fielded first
Morden- 133-9
Whytleaf- 145-9
Morden lost by 13 runs


On beautiful summers evening the crew arrived for the last time at the Godstone Village Green hoping to pull one last performance out of the bag and win the tournament. Our oppo were Whytleaf who play in the kookaburra division 2 league. The Boys were looking a bit nervous and the skip Roy loped out to the middle for the toss. In a strange move the oppo skipper won the toss but delayed his decision for 10 minutes. He disappeared into the changing room for a meeting leaving the boys in confusion. Half were in shorts expecting to bat the other half kitted out ready to field. The Oppo skipper finally strolled out like an executioner and decided that they would bat. The boys took to the field with the voice of a commentator echoing out over the PA system. The running commentary was to become an irritant during the game. The game finally commenced with Andy “ Anger “ Allan storming in with the voice of the commentator announcing that beef burgers were on sale floating over the ground. Andy had a good over with only 3 runs on the board. Andrew “Sicknote” J took the other end and ran in to bowl with the commentator belting out that whytleaf were batting even though it was the second over all ready. Craig was spotted trying to purchase a beef burger so the announcers comments were being heard by some at least. AJ’s first over saw a lot of balls in the air just past short midwicket. Score was 9 after 2. Andy A had another good over followed by Aj who went for 5. After 4 the oppo were on 17 odd. Andy A bowled his last over of his spell and the score was on 20. Aj ran in and contained the batsmen till one was dispatched straight for six. The commentator very kindly pointing out that it was a six. Craig “ Don’t hate me cause I am a player “ Harper came on and bowled a beauty to get rid of the opener with his first ball. This pepped up the boys and the pressure led to Gerry running out the number 3 with a great underarm through. The boys were feeling confident now. After the great over from the “Harpmeister” Aj bowled his final over. Aj restricted the batsman till the last ball which disappeared for 4. The commentator rubbing it in again. At this point the commentator could count himself lucky that woman and children were watching or he could have been rather uncomfortable with the microphone protruding from his …… Anyway Nick “By Jolly I am Cool”Hughes replaced AJ and proceeded to bowl well. The pressure was building with good bowling. Kalleem produced a brilliant run out to dismiss the dangerous batsman. He collected the ball and threw in one motion scoring a direct hit side on. Fantastic fielding. Craig picked up another stick and then Nick H joined the party with 2 sticks. The oppo were now 70 odd for 6 after 14. The boys sensed they were in control. The turning point of the match came when the bat blasted the ball off of Nick's first ball of his last over straight to midd on and Andy A took a stunning catch. However the dangerous bat had crossed even though the other bat had not moved. The umpire allowed this even though they had clearly not crossed. The dangerous bat then proceeded to launch an attack and dispatched the next 5 balls for 22. Moving the oppo to 97 for 7 off of 17 over’s. The last 4 overs went for 40 odd with Ryan and Roy picking up sticks. The oppo ending on 145 for 9. The boys felt down as they felt that they and circumstances had allowed 30 runs to be scored that could of and should of been avoided. Craig was the standout bowler. Anyway the run chase began with around 7 an over being needed. Brian and Kaleem strode in to do battle and were rattling on a around 5 and over before Brian was run out. Kaleem was soon to follow in the same fashion. Needless run outs as Morden were doing ok at that point. This Brought Jason “let the good times roll”H and Nick " i am turning Japanese" H to the crease. Both began to play shots against good bowling. Morden reached 50- 2 off of 10 overs. A decent position for the onslaught to come. Nick H was playing his shots and was out to the oppos best bowler when charging down the pitch. This brought Craig “ Must hit ball” H to the crease. Jason H was out shortly after to the same bowler. Steve “ Thanks for coming “ Cummings arrived and departed after 2 balls. Roy “ The time is now” Cummings strode out. Craig started to unleash the big shots. We all know how much Craig likes big things and his shots were no different. A massive six and a four brought morden to 80 for 5 after 14. Craig was out next going after the big one as usual. A great shame as the Big unit was looking dangerous. Roy was running hard and hitting great shots as well. He was joined by Gerry “six or sticks” Coetzer. Roy was unfortunately run out (allegedly) when he tried a quick single, slipped when turning and made a desperate dive to get in. To all on the boundary it appeared Roy was in as the bowler missed the stumps in the first attempt tobreak the wicket giving the speedy Roy a chance to get in. The umpire did not agree and raised his finger (even though he could not see as the bowler had his back to him and shielded the stumps. This seems to be the trend for Morden as Hefner Hughes was run out last year after passing the umpire behind the wicket as the ball struck the stumps. Unlucky Roy. Ryan “ Saffie Superstar” L joined the skip for some biltong and wors in the middle. Ryan having most of the strike and scampering singles. Gerry had no intentions of scampering and hoiked some true Gerry shots for 4. Morden on 109-7 in the 17th over now. Gerry was out trying to belt one and this brought Andrew “ doublestep” Jarrett to the crease. The sideline was a buzz with bets being taken on how long it would take for AJ to charge the opening bowler. Nick H won the sweepstakes as AJ took off down the track first ball. A miss unfortunately. The bowler trundled in thinking tat people only charge once only to be greeted at his popping crease by AJ with bat in hand. The ball disappearing to the fence for 4. AJ charged all and sunder before being caught at deep cover. Morden were now 124 for 9 after 18 overs. Andy A and Ryan tried in vain to bring the boys home in the last two with Andy smashing a big six. Unfortunately we fell short and ended on 133-9. Those extra 30 odd runs being a killer.

The commentator was now in full voice pointing out every shortcoming. After the game a young kid of 11 approached Craig Harper with pen and pencil. Now the boys witnessing this were debating. Some thought the kid was asking for an autograph after seeing Craig in the Teen princess magazine, but the vast majority thought the kid was either asking Craig for tips on how to pull large ladies or had read Craig’s book on the art of hunting around cigarette machines of seedy bars at 3m in the morning. Anyway Craig wrote something and the kid looked chuffed. Walking off to put his new knowledge to use when he tried to pull a 45 year old mom sitting near by. Nice Craig.

Unlucky boy’s, great run and we just fell short. Thanks To Jim for his organization and support as well as Lindy, Mike, Steve O and Grahame for coming to support. Next year boys. Man of the Match was the big unit, the lady killer the back street boy Mr Harper

MCCC Sat 1st XI v BK XI (Home)
Won by 100 odd

Viva la sunshine! The rematch against Burger Kings finest was set to be a good one, the track was surprisingly hard and there were signs of cracks which would certainly create uneven bounce and possibly turn later in the day. MCCC were to bat first with two new faces as our opening duo, Gareth ‘I Was Selected for County Cricket at 10’ James and Campbell ‘Door Mouse’ Gower. Their tactics were instantly obvious, take it to the bowlers and run hard, really, really hard, Gareth ‘Combining Cricket and the Marathon’ James was clearly on top form playing some beautiful stokes that even a cynical Geoff Boycott would be proud of.

The entertainment however didn’t stop there as the runs between boundaries clearly started to affect Campbell ‘I’m Going into Cardiac Arrest’ Gower and just as he was starting to look in good nick he was caught at long off. It is worth while mentioning that somewhere during all this action one of the oppos opening bowlers retired hurt after pulling something in his knee after trying to stop a fierce straight drive from Gareth, which brought to the field Jim ‘Inside in Having a Rave’ Paine. To be fair the BK side were under-manned and not sporting the same team that dominated us @ Battersea park.

Enter to the helm Nick ‘The Tank’ Hughes who after a solid start hit a thick edge straight up and right down the throat of, yes you guessed it Jim… typical. Next in was Saard ‘We Play Cricket My Way’ Anwan, who like Gareth was oozing confidence, playing some delightful shots around his feet. The shot of the match came as Saard walloped a pull shot so hard it looked as though it was going to take out the guys playing footie on the adjacent pitch. Gareth and Saard utilized on an under average bowling attack hitting big shots, this brought a change in bowling who Gareth calmly demonstrated how to execute the perfect late glance taking advantage of the lack of a slip.

Soon after the drinks interval Gareth ‘Artillery Barrage’ James was caught twenty yards shy of the boundary eighteen short of his maiden century. In came Jason ‘Skip Skip Skiparoo’ Ware who fell to a ball, which could be argued benefited from the uneven bounce. The rest of the team never really looked like entering double figures and as soon as Saard was caught our innings was nearing an end. Cuan "Thick edge" Brown managed to use the toe of the bat to play one over the keepers head and get caught at fine leg, a remarkable stunt indeed.

Andrew ‘What Smoking Ban’ Jarrett opened the bowling with some fierce deliveries instantly putting pressure on the batsmen. However, it was at the other end that the first wicket fell when Jim ‘I Can’t Find My Marker’ Paine bowled a reverse bouncer, which went though to take out middle stump. Jim claimed two more wickets to catches nearly causing a collision between Daniel ‘Smiler’ Groenewald and Nick "Too kewl for skool" Hughes, phew! AJ was the pick of the bowlers and after an intelligent decision to come around the stumps to a batsmen who wouldn’t play anything outside off stump and was duly rewarded a wicket trapping him plum LBW. Even more plum was the next wicket to fall again from AJ. Ruining AJ's figures as he now had more wickets than runs against his name!

After AJ and Jim, puffed their way through sixteen overs, Graham ‘Who F**k is Shane Warne’ Pinkney bowled the ball of the innings by bowling a very confident batsmen around his legs, much to everyone’s shock (I did mention turn). The last time the GP spun a ball was in the 80's, so you can imagine everyones suprise! Nick ‘MINE’ Hughes claimed the last wicket to an impressive caught and bowled.

It was a good victory for MCCC as although the oppo were two men short we played as a unit. It must also be mentioned that Cuan ‘I Don’t Wear Latex’ Brown was solid behind the stumps and Steve ‘Spring Chicken’ O’Neill was darting and diving around the pitch putting to shame his juniors.

Man of the Match – Gareth James on his marvellous innings.
Coolest Umpire Award – Azza Malik
Comedy Moment – Graham’s bowling causing so much uncertainty.

Scorecard

C Gower caught bowled Hassan 12
G James caught bowled Hassan 82
N Hughes caught bowled Justin 6
S Anwan caught bowled Adrian 64
J Ware bowled Hassan 4
S O’Neill caught bowled Adrian 7
A Jarrett caught bowled Adrian 2
D Groernald caught bowled Mike 7
C Brown caught bowled Adrian 2
J Paine bowled Shei 6
G Pinkney not out 2

Bowling

A Jarrett 8-1-18-2
J Paine 8-0-38-3
N Hughes 3-0-11-1
G Pinkney 2-0-13-1

2020 Cup - MCCC vs Merstham - Won by 4 wickets

The Morden 20Twenty crew descended upon Godstone green for the semi final. The boys fully aware that the club had never made it through to the final before. The weather was not looking good and neither was the pitch on closer inspection. The word mud sprung to mind. Roy lost the toss and the boys were to field. A good handful of sawdust ensured that the mud looked like sawdust and that was about it. Morden opened well with both Andy’s on the money and gradually they were able to build pressure with the oppo managing around 20 from the first 7 over’s. Andy J picking up both openers. In fact the one ball appeared to be a devious slower ball, but was in fact the result of the gale force wind holding the ball up. Andy J resembling Michael Jackson doing the moonwalk at times due to the gale force wind blowing into his face. The boys were keyed up and sensing that they were in the driving seat. Nick “I fought Orcs in NZ “ Hughes came on to replace Andy “ I lived close to the Shire in NZ” Alan. Nick began to bowl his mixed bag of tricks and proceeded to build the pressure. Tush “mini Craig” W came on to replace Andrew “Shoulder” J but could not continue the pressure unfortunately. Roy “Dead Keen “C came on to replace the Mumbai express and soon had the batsmen in trouble. Nick bowled a devious ball which rolled and took out middle stump. He followed that up with a beauty which the bat edged and was pouched by the impressive Brian D. Nick was on hat trick ball which the bat just managed to keep out. Roy upped the tempo and soon had the dangerous leftie out caught behind. He followed this up by forcing the bat to play onto his own stumps. Morden sensed they were firmly in the driving seat now. The oppo were now around 70-6. Roy struck again getting another edge behind. Andy A was not going to miss out on a wicket and came back to claim a wicket. Great catch from Roy in the slips. The boys were fielding like warriors now and the oppo were desperate for runs. Gerry came on and bowled well and picked up a stick which allowed Ryan to claim his wicket which was the last of the innings. Oppo were all out for 87 in 18 overs. Great effort from the boys.

Now the pitch resembled a mud bowl now with uneven bounce and a tendency to roll. No back foot shots for sure. Kaleem and Brian strolled out to open. The oppo opened with 2 spinners who were bang on target. Kaleem falling to a roller 3 rd ball. Out strolled Jason H who also found the going hard. The boys survived till the 5th over until Jason was out trying to cut a ball that held up. Hefner Hughes walked in and set up shop. By the 9th over the team were 19-2. Batting was difficult. Nick then proceeded to push the attack and managed to drag the score to 35 off of 11. Nick continued the aggressive batting but fell in the 12th over wit the score on 46. Brian stuck some big shots and was joined by Ryan who was sent in to pinch hit. Ryan was out shortly after followed by Brian. The score now 56 after 14. Roy strolled in to join Steven and they managed to hit some shots and run hard pushing us to 76 before Roy was bowled by a roller. The boys needing 12 from 3 now. Gerry strolled in. Steve hit a boundary and some good running saw the boys needing 6 odd from 2. The fielders came in close for Gerry (most probably the worst underestimation of a batsman in the history of the game) and Gerry duly obliged by caning the bowler straight and long for a boundary. Gerry finished off the game with a great cut shot.

So into the finals we go. Next Wednesday at Godstone. The boys played well in difficult conditions.

MCCC 2nd team vs Churchleigh (away)
28 April 2007 - MCCC lost by 45 runs

[Match Photos]

The Saturday season started in glorious sunshine down at Churchleigh Cricket Club. This was a new fixture and having been directed to the middle of nowhere, we feared the worst..... These fears proved unfounded as we arrived at a beautiful ground and were met by friendly opposition!

Newly appointed 2nd team skipper Brian Clifford won the toss and chose to field. Our start was hampered by the late arrival of Matt Oliver and the non-arrival at all of our 11th man who managed to get lost on the way to the ground, so went home. This left us with 10 players....

Ryan Lang and Brian Clifford bowled tightly to begin with, both going past the outside edge several times. Ryan bowled quickly to start off with and to be honest was too good for their opening bats who struggled to lay bat on him. Brian was not too good for them, but managed to find an inside edge which was dragged onto middle stump and the breakthrough was had!

They rebuilt the innings from this point and set towards a competitive total, with further wickets proving hard to come by. However the introduction of Richard Wainer soon changed this as he picked up two quick wickets. Imran Ahmad bowled economically but without reward so the captain turned to the experienced heads of Girish Patel and Majid Rafiq. He was not disappointed as they both rattled through the middle order sharing 4 wickets between them.

This left Churchleigh teetering on 130-6 with 4 overs left. Ryan and Brian returned to finish things off, but wickets wouldn't come until the last over. Then the fun really began..... Brian picked up a wicket caught mid on by Ryan. Next ball was full and straight, taking out middle stump. Brian is on a hattrick.... Next ball is full on off stump, it's edged behind!! But no... Imran decides to rugby tackle Vivek Sarohia who has already caught the ball and suddenly everyon and everything is on the floor. Including the ball. Brian is denied an opening day hattrick for the second season running! To add insult to injury, Brian picked up the final wicket with the next delivery (caught Majid) and the innings is over with 3 wickets in 4 balls. MCCC to chase 140.

After an excellent set of teas in the similarly impressive pavilion, Morden went out to chase.

Girish opened with Vivek, but soon Vivek returned having mistimed a pull to mid wicket. Matt Oliver joined Girish and things were going smoothly, with both men looking in good touch. This continued until we hit 42, when Matt got a grubber which homed in on middle stump. Hemant Patel then partnered his brother, but the partnership was shortlived as Hemant lost his off bail. The collapse was in full flow at this point, with Ryan, Theo Moore and Imran Ahmad coming and going equally quickly!

51-6 and time to panic. Majid came to the crease and the pressure was on him and Girish to bail us out for a second time. Majid responded in fine fashion, despatching the ball to all parts. Sadly this was short lived and after two huge sixes, he tried to repeat the dose and was caught on the boundary. Majid had made 22 top quality runs. Still 45 needed and Richard joins Girish with the predictable order of "hand around and give Girish the strike!". This did not transpire as Richard got a good one early on and fended it to mid on. The skipper was in... Cometh the hour, cometh the man? No. Sadly not. Brian (batting with a broken finger) plunged forward first ball and lost his middle stump. Game over and a defeat from the jaws of victory for MCCC!

Good game. Good oppo. Good teas. Bad result!

Notable performances

Clifford 7.5 0 32 4
G Patel 5 2 21 2
Rafiq 8 3 15 2

G Patel 32*
M Rafiq 22